Monday, September 5th
And speaking of Walmart, should I feel cheap?
Get woken up by the sun gleaming through the sheer curtains at 6:42. We didn’t get much sleep last night. Turns out my body was right. Dawson did need to be our friend. And he was a very fun play date. He uh, visited, um more than once. And my body and my brain were both eagerly at the door waiting for him, every time, saying, Welcome back, come on in!!!
Like the rugs when you walk in a Walmart.
And speaking of Walmart, should I feel cheap?
But I suppose that’s the thing about sleeping with someone, it feels right at the time, but there’s always repercussions. Repercussions that my mind couldn’t seem to come up with last night. Like you never know what’s gonna happen after they leave. Will he ever wanna visit again? Will he be a jerk like Brooklyn and make me want to slam the door in his face and say no way! Will he tell all his friends about his visit to my house? Will my house get a bad reputation? When we get back to school, will he start walking a block over, so he can avoid my house? (My favorite.) We did use protection, so I shouldn’t have to worry about things like STD’s and pregnancy, but what repercussions will it have in our very young relationship. Do we even HAVE a relationship? And if we do, what is it now? Did this change things?
Will we be closer? Will it make things awkward? Will he want me again? Did he lose all respect for me?
Shit. I really have no idea.
And I’m even more worried because he isn’t in bed with me. Did he creep out in the middle of the night just to get away from me? Like do the walk of shame out to his living room?
I get up, pee, brush my teeth, fluff up my hair. Maybe he went out surfing, and I should go join him. But then I realize that I probably screwed up by sleeping with him. Because if he wanted me out surfing, he would’ve woken me up and asked in to go with him like he did yesterday, before things changed. This thought depresses me, so I throw myself across the bed.
I need to talk to someone about this. Someone who’s an expert on hookups. I know it’s the middle of the night, like 3am, in Vancouver, but I text Tommy anyways.
Me: Since you say you’re a guy, and that makes you an expert on them, what’s too soon to sleep with a guy you really like, and you think he really likes you too, but you don’t know for sure because you’ve only known him for like a week, but it feels longer than that?
Me: And if you did to decide to sleep with him, and you wake up the next morning and he’s not in bed with you, what does that mean?
Me: especially when it’s his house?
Me: I’m asking this for my friend.
Me: Please please be awake…….
Me: Or wake up……………
Me: Okay, I’m asking for me. Please wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I’m freaking out here!!!
Tommy: I prefer a girl to turn me down at least once. Twice is good, three times is not a charm. If she turned me down three times, she was out.
Me: And after, she uh didn’t turn you down, how did you treat her? Does sex change things?
Tommy: Yeah, it makes it hotter.
Tommy: This is your mother, Tommy should NOT have said that. PLEASE tell me you didn’t sleep with Gorgeous.
Me: I didn’t sleep with Gorgeous.
Tommy: Don’t lie to me!
Me: Mom! You just told me to lie to you!
Tommy: Tommy here, stole my phone back. Was he sweet to you, before, during, after?
Me: Um, idk about sweet, it was very intense before and during, but like in between, yeah he was. He’s REALLY sweet. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???
Tommy: Think positive. Maybe he went to get you coffee. Chill baby, it will be okay. And if it’s not, Tommy will come kick some ass.
Me: If you are going to start kicking asses, you should start with Brooklyn’s.
Tommy: Yeah, why aren’t you with him?
Me: Don’t you and mom talk??!!! He was A DICK!!! I HATE HIM!!
Tommy: That why you slept with Gorgeous? What’s his actual name anyways? And when do I get to meet him?
Me: Dawson, and if he speaks to me again, then maybe sometime soonish. I uh, haven’t exactly told people about you and mom yet.
Tommy: You’re embarrassed of us??!!
Me: Embarrassed is not the right word. I just, you know, it’s not the first thing I tell people. I don’t know what his parents do for a living, so don’t feel bad.
Tommy: Maybe you should get to know a boy a little better before you decide to sleep with him, just saying.
Me: Gee thanks, DAD 🙁
Tommy: I doubt he left you alone in his house. Go find him. Don’t make it awkward. (Oh, this conversation with Tommy and her mom. I went round and round with this scene and did adjust it slightly. But I felt like it’s really important that teens know that adults were teens once too and can probably give them better advice than their friends. Do I think Abby and Tommy are a little too liberal with Keatyn? Yes, definitely. But at the same time, I love how open their relationship is. I also think it helps that Tommy is not her biological father, because that would be much more awkward.)
Just as I read the text, Dawson pushes through the door, carrying a tray of food. I could die from relief. And I text Tommy back quick.
Me: OMG!!! You were actually RIGHT!!! He brought me breakfast!!!!! :))))))
Dawson grins at me, “You’re awake.”
“I, um,” he acts a bit embarrassed, “I got us some breakfast. Figured we could surf a little later if you want to.”
“Are you feeling awkward?”
“No. I mean, a little awkward maybe, but that’s because I don’t know what you’re thinking, like, if you regret it.”
He sits next to me, bites the corner of his nail and says, “I really hope you don’t regret it. Or like hate me.”
“Why would I hate you?”
“Because maybe you felt like I made you, or talked you into it, or you thought I sucked at it, or you didn’t like it, or you wished we would have waited. I mean, I would have waited. I planned on waiting. But I’m glad, really glad, we didn’t wait, but I want you to be glad too.”
“You talk a lot when you’re nervous. It’s cute.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“You didn’t ask me a question.”
“Did you just get caught up in the moment? Do you regret it?”
“Uh, I think so. Yes, I want to know honestly what you’re thinking. We’ve been honest with each other about our feelings so far. Part of why I like you so much. I want that to continue.”
He likes me so much??!!!
“Hmmm, well I could see you wondering if I got caught up in the moment the first time, but you know, after the second, third, uh fourth time, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just a moment. I liked it a lot, you were amazing, really. I’ve never felt so good. I just hope I don’t regret it.” (Four times. My imagination was running quite wild here.)
“What would make you regret it?”
“If it messed things up for us. If it made you think poorly of me.”
He lets out a big sigh, grins big, grabs me and kisses me. “Keatie, last night was awesome. I don’t think I’ve ever woken up feeling so happy.”
“I admit, I had a little freak when I woke up, and you weren’t here. I even texted my step dad to ask him about it.
He gets a slightly shocked look on his face when I mention the d word.
Oh, it’s cool. Tommy’s cool. I can talk about that stuff with him and my mom. Not like details, but you know, in general terms.”
He gets a sneaky look, dives across me, grabs my phone off the nightstand, reads what I wrote.
“I’m Gorgeous, huh??”
Haha, yeah, that’s what I called you before I knew your name. I sorta stalked you a bit.”
“You can stalk me anyyyyy time.” He kisses me.
“Oh, I’ll be like that Audrey girl. I’ll stalk you and bake you cookies and carry your books to class. I’m just teasing, I don’t like expect anything.”
“Well I expect something.”
“No, well yeah, that’d be nice, but what I meant is I don’t want this to change anything. I like how we’ve become friends, how we talk. I like you. A lot. Do you think we should be going out now?”
“Because we had sex, no.”
“What if I told you I was thinking about asking you before we had sex?”
“I’d say wait a little, see how things go, and then if you still want to ask me out, then ask. Are you going to tell all your friends about this?”
“I don’t kiss and tell. You hungry?”
He grabs the tray off the nightstand, and we eat breakfast, happily talking about what all we’re going to do today.
And truth is, Tommy might be right, I may not know him that well, but I still feel like I am falling in love with him. (This was one thing if someone hated the series that I got slammed on in reviews. That Keatyn fell in love too fast. But when I was writing this book, my children were in 8th and 9th grade. Their friends hung out at our house a lot. And they talked to me about who they liked. And, girls especially, do think they are in love one minute and the next minute they hate him and like someone else. They are fickle. Unsure. But mostly, they really want to be in love. They want that feeling. The closeness. Their hormones want it. Their friends want it. They have boy ADD. I mentioned my high school diary. I laugh when I read it. I had a boyfriend, but always had three other guys I was crushing on. Usually the guy I was crushing on didn’t even know I existed. Or he was clueless I was crushing. Or he didn’t like me. Or a cute boy would do something as simple as smile at me, and I would have our wedding scripted out in my head the next day…see?)
Riley and I are out in the ocean, floating over waves on our boogie boards.
He looks at me, gives me a smirk. “You and Dawson totally did it.”
“What? Why would you think that?”
“Oh gee, well, he skipped going out at sunrise to take you breakfast in bed. I haven’t seen him grin so much since he beat the last COD game, and he can’t seem to keep his hands off you. Add that to the way he’s touching you, the way you lean into him, and boom! You totally did him. So??”
“Riley, don’t tell people you think that, okay? If you tell people you think we did, then people will assume we did, even if we didn’t.”
“You really like him? Like I thought you were all into Aiden and your surfer dude.”
“I crushed on Aiden, yes. He’s very cute, but he thinks he’s so cool, and I don’t know, maybe he’s used to girls like falling all over themselves to be with him. He asked me Thursday night to hang out on Friday.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“If you like a girl, Riles, you don’t wait til Thursday to ask her out. So, I told him I was busy and to ask sooner next time.”
“I don’t know what it is about you, but I still have this strange need to protect you. Even tho he’s my bro, I’d probably kick his ass if he was mean to you.”
“You’re brother is so sweet, he’s amazing.”
“Amazing in bed? That runs in the family, you know.”
“Um, no comment.”
We play around in the surf, play tennis, and have some lunch. (Oh, Dawson wasn’t joking, he’s very good and totally kicked my butt. I may have to get more lessons.)
Marcus texts me.
Marcus: Transportation back to school??
I ask everyone. “Hey, how are you all getting back to school?”
Dallas says, “Same way we got here, right?”
“Yeah, cabs, then ferry, then the train, then cabs.” Ace tells me.
“How come you don’t just drive?”
“It’s a hassle, especially with all of us, and traffic is a bitch. I mean, unless you have a driver.” Ace replies.
“She showed up in a limo,” Dawson teases me.
“Ohh, fancy,” Dallas says.
“Hey, I can’t drive yet.”
“You are such a pup,” Riley tells me.
“I’m the same age as you.”
“Naw, I’ll be sixteen next month. I’m almost a year older than you.”
“Then why aren’t you a sophomore?” I lower my voice, “Or are you a little slooww?”
“Shut up. It’s just the kind of grade school I went to.”
“So do you want to go back the way you came, and I come with you, or do you want me to have a limo take us?”
They all say, “Limo, for sure.” (Also, this sort of makes me hate her. LOL)
Me: Need limo for 14, 4pm please 🙂 ily!
Marcus: Done. And ily2 🙂
After lunch, we hang by the pool, relaxing, tanning, swimming.
I’m in the water, up against the edge of the pool. Dawson has me barricaded into the corner with his arms on both sides of me against the edge of the pool.
Not that I mind.
We kiss a little, I splash him.
“So did you tell my brother?”
“No, he guessed. I said no comment. But I don’t think he will tell.”
“Yeah, he will. He loves talking about that shit, about what he’s done, what he thinks I’ve done. ”
“He won’t tell.”
“I’m just saying if it gets around school, don’t blame me.”
He kisses my nose, says, “You’re so cute. I just love you.”
Did he just say, I love you?
“Oh. Uh…,” he mutters.
“It’s okay. I know what you meant. You love me like you love swimming or ice cream.”
“Look, this all happened crazy fast. We talked about taking things slow before and just because we went fast sexually, doesn’t mean we should rush our relationship. I still wanna take that part slow. I mean, you might get back to school, see Peyton, and decide you still love her.”
His eyes get soft. “Keatie, I’m not gonna do that. I told you the other night, before all this, I don’t love her anymore.”
“Still, you loved her. And I’m not sure you’re over her.”
“Actually, I’m very over her, and I kinda have a thing for this really hot freshman. She’s on the dance team. You might know her.”
He grins an adorable grin at me. His eyes sparkle. He is so freaking adorable. Seriously, how did I get so lucky?
“And this thing you have for her, that just means you want her, right?”
“No,” he stops, considers that for a second, says, “Well, yeah, I do, but it’s more than that.” He laughs, kisses my neck and whispers in my ear, “But you know, if she wants me now, we do have a little free time before we have to leave.”
And um, we spent that time wisely.
Cute little daisy charm on back.
Dallas and Ace yell, “Hey everyone, the limo’s here!”
Everyone is hooting and hollering over the limo. Marcus did good. This limo is sweet. A brand new Range Rover HSE with a jet door. Inside it has all sorts of toys, wild neon colored interior, a couple flat screens, sound system, fog machine, and disco lights. Of course, as you can imagine the thing the boys went most crazy over was the XBox360.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Riley says.
We all got loaded up, played with the toys, got high, then most everyone crashed. I’m leaning up against Dallas’s shoulder, chatting. Dawson’s crashed, his head laying in my lap.
Dallas says randomly, “You have very weird toes.”
“Shut up. I have cute toes.”
“This weekend was really fun, huh? I’ve never been to a party that lasted all weekend like that. And it was cool, like the perfect mix of partying, chilling, girls, sunning and stuff.”
I agree. “This weekend was fun. I’m glad I came.”
“I suspect you had a little more fun than me,” he grins mischievously at me.
“You made out with a different girl each night.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t have sex.”
“Kiki, we don’t lie to each other remember?”
“Damn, you must be physic about more than just panties.”
“Dawson is like crazy about you.”
“Uh, yeah. He is. He’s been on freaking cloud nine since you got her. Even before y’all had fun. Riley actually is worried you might hurt him, like he thinks you like the hottie god, or what ever you call him.
“The God of all Hotties.”
“Haha, that’s it. Hey, remember how we were talking about redoing Dawes’ image. Did you notice how tight he and Riles were this weekend?”
“I know. And I don’t even care about his image. But I like seeing him happy. He was really sad that night.”
“And someone has cheered him up. Amazing how some orange panties can do that.”
“Oh my god! Have you been creeping through my clothes?”
“Nope. I’m just that good. Plus, I could see them when you bent over to pick up your duffle bag. Cute little daisy charm on the back.” (These little daisy charm undies are the same ones she had on when she got the best kiss of her life in the pouring rain with Aiden in Love Me. Remember when her butt got wet, and Aiden gave her his sweat pants? And her undies got left at the Cave. And then Dallas presented them to her in front of Dawson?)
“Shut up. I’m afraid that when Peyton sees him happy she will want him back. I’m not sure I’d stand a chance. We should be worrying about me getting hurt, not him.”
“Awwww, Kiki, you know Dallas is always here for you. Little smoking, little blanket, I’ll fix you right up.”
“Only when you want me to be.”
Hanging, partying, all that.
Katie, Maggie and I are laying on pillows across our floor, catching up on what happened with each other this weekend. Katie went home, had a barbecue with her extended family. Apparently her cousin brought a cute friend and she flirted with him, but that was the extent of her fun. She is worried because Tyrese seems like he likes her when she’s here at school, but he didn’t text her all weekend. And I try to tell her it’s just because we were busy. Hanging, partying, all that. But I know that Tyrese, much like all the boys this weekend, had their flirt on and were kissing and hooking up in various manners with girls they met on the beach. I know the girl Tyrese hooked up with was a friend of Dawson’s. But it’s not like he is going to see her again any time soon. I wasn’t sure what I should tell her. It’d be one thing if they were going out, and he was cheating on her, but they aren’t so what he does is sorta his business, I think.
Maggie’s weekend was more interesting. She went home and hung out with her sorta boyfriend. It started out good with lots of kissing and whatnot, but ended in a fight right before she left. We need to find her someone cute. I thought about setting her up with Dallas, because he is so adorable, but then, no, cause I still kinda wanna make out with him some, maybe. And then I thought, maybe Riley, but Riley is just looking for sex right now. Although she did mention how hot she thought he is, so maybe I float her name out during class tomorrow and see what he thinks about her. (This was obviously before Logan and her had history together.)
Then the conversation turns to me. They are dying to know about Brooklyn and most importantly Dawes. I just tell them we had lots of fun, and that we are just still seeing each other but that nothing is like official. We aren’t dating or anything, and that I suspect he is still hung up a bit on Peyton.
And I’m not really sure if that is true or not. He swears he’s not, but you know, I think this week will prove to be interesting.
I told them a lot of details about surfing, the food, the Kool-Aid, the house. So many details they got bored and forgot to ask me about hooking up.
Dallas texts me.
Dallas: Cave. 1 am. Be there or be square.
Me: Just us, or can I bring Maggie and Katie?
Dallas: Bring the ladies, please. Dallas needs a hottie and Katie is cute.
Dallas: Don’t pout. You slept with Dawson.
Me: Still 🙁
Dallas: I don’t think Dawes is coming. Ditch the girls. Well, except Riley is coming with me. I promised.
Me: I’ll be there. I’ll bring them.
I frantically did the homework I ignored all weekend. Fortunately most of the teachers seemed to have plans and the workload was pretty light. But I guess I was tired and fell asleep.
Tuesday, September 6th
You stalking me?
Have seven missed calls from Dallas and a couple texts from him and Riley.
Basically the texts were versions of, Where are you? Did you fall asleep? Wake up!!
But the best text of all was from Dawes this morning.
Dawson: Miss waking up with you, will be stalking you 🙂 (Come on, admit it. This text made you melt.)
I got ready quickly, but carefully. I want Dawson to think I look amazing today. I flip open my look book to see today’s look. It’s not really how I’m feeling, looks very cute, but more preppy. So I flip through the book and try to find the most sexy version I can, while praying no one photographs me and my mother sees I mixed things up again. Look 18 is what I want. The navy, black, and red plaid skort, tall black Gucci platform boots, red lace bra, which if it happens to show a little under my skinny ribbed black tank, oh well, short red cardigan, with only the middle button buttoned, thick black leather cuff bracelet, oversized silver hoops. My hair is full of big curls and my bangs are held back in a poof with a silver barrette. My makeup is soft and natural, except for a catty black eyeliner swoop and as much mascara as my lashes could hold. I’m looking like the school girl version of Barbarella.
(In case you have never seen Barbarella, it’s an old movie starring Jane Fonda. When it came out, in the seventies, I think, it was very risque. There were no explicit sex scenes, but the whole thing’s all about sex. Like there is one part where this evil dude locks her in this thing that plays organ music and makes her feel, um, extreme pleasure, uh yeah. Anyways, I watched part of it until Tommy told me I had to go to bed. I think he was just turned on by Jane and wanted Mom to himself. Anyways, she wears big tall platform boots in the movie.)
I walk out my dorm. Katie left me and went to breakfast. I’m hoping to have time to grab at least some coffee before I head to class. I walk out, and there sitting on the brick wall is Dawson, waiting for me. I have to say, there’s something so sexy about a boy who is dressed up. Dawson has on khaki cargo shorts, a pink and white striped oxford, a pink and green tie loosened around his neck that I’m pretty sure has whales all over it, navy blazer, sperrys on his feet. He looks so hot sitting there, I almost wanna whistle. All of a sudden, I can barely breathe as my mind flashes to his muscular body, naked, on top of me. (Gotta love a well-dressed guy.)
He sees me, let’s out a whistle, looks me up and down and says, “Damn, Keatie, those boots make me hard. You look like a S&M school girl fantasy.
I smile. “You stalking me?”
“Ooh…I am.” He grabs my waist, pulls me in for a kiss. As I lean forward, a bit of red lace peeks out. He stops going in for a kiss, pushes me back out a little, looks down, “Red lace. Damn, you’re gonna drive me nuts. Speaking of that, I still haven’t seen the leopard one yet.”
“I think you saw plenty this weekend.”
“Yeah, but mostly bikinis, I want to see this bra up close and personal, after practice.”
“I don’t know, I might have lots of homework,” I tease.
“I’ll tutor you. But I want you wearing nothing but that bra. Red panties too?”
He finally pulls me in for a sexy kiss.
“Did I see my stalker brought me coffee?”
“Oh, uh yeah, you distracted me. Here, skinny soy chai latte, no whip, right?”
“How’d you know that?”
“I described you to the coffee shop dude, he told me.”
“Thanks. You’re very resourceful.”
“I’m very horny actually.”
“Haha down, boy. We have to go to class. And I have to hurry, your brother needs to copy my worksheet.”
These aren’t Slutty, they’re Gucci.
I’m in line, getting a salad, watching Peyton. She gives Dawson an evil grin, then sits down and gives Jake a big kiss.
The salad bar is close enough for me to hear their conversation.
Dawson says,”So, you guys have a good weekend together?”
Jake says, “Naw, she had to go home for some family reunion thing.”
“Oh that’s too bad. Jake, you shoulda come up to the beach house. We partied, chilled.”
Ace says, “And Keatyn taught us to surf. I actually stood up and rode a wave all the way in for the first time.”
And I can see Peyton’s eye get big when she hears I was there. Last she heard, I was going to see Brooklyn.
Tyrese says, “Yeah, she’s a really good surfer. And looks damn fine in a bikini, man.” He hits Dawson on the shoulder. Dawson’s grin lights up his face.
He looks up and sees me standing with my tray, looking a bit awkward. “Speaking of damn fine.” He stands up, grabs my tray and my backpack and helps me get settled in the seat next to him.
Riley and Dallas walk by us, wave, and go sit with some other friends.
Tyrese says to me, “I’m digging those boots.”
“Thanks.” I’m hoping he’s done talking about me and the way I look, so I tease, “Tyrese had a pretty fun weekend, girls surrounding him on the beach, begging for his body.”
He puffs his chest out a little, sits up straighter, “Yeah baby, Tyrese sealed the deal a couple nights, out there in the sand with Dawson’s cousin.”
Dawson’s eyes get big. Then he’s like, “Dude, all my cousins are guys.”
“Oh shit, I’m just joking, It was some girl that was staying up the beach, I don’t even know her name.”
“It was Laney.” I say.
He snaps, “That’s it. And what about you, Little Miss Kiki? You and Dawes had some fun yourselves.”
I know he’s trying to bring up my sex life, but I won’t. “We did. The house was gorgeous, the waves were great, the Kool-Aid was potent.”
“Aw, yes,” Ace says, “the Get drunk and screw punch. Heard it worked on you.”
I know Dawson didn’t tell, well I think he didn’t. This feels like a fishing expedition, I’m pretty sure he’s baiting me. Interviewers always try and do that to my mom, act like they know something they don’t. Trying to get her to confirm if the fact that she wore a lose fitting top one day means she’s pregnant again. (She’s not.)
“You’re right, Ace, I did get a little drunk one night.”
Tyrese says, “And then snuck off to the bedroom with Dawesy here.”
Dawson, who has been pretty quiet through all this, says, “That’s enough.”
And Tyrese surprisingly complies. And not only has he been stalking me all day, walking me to all my classes, he just stood up for me to his friend, I think I’m in love.
Under the table I give his leg a little thank you squeeze, and he grins at me, looks at me with sexy bedroom eyes and says, “Let’s go sit outside.”
As we walk away, I hear Peyton say, “I think those boots are slutty.”
I turn around and say sweetly to her, “Oh, you need to learn your designers, Peyton. These aren’t Slutty, they’re Gucci.” (This was much better having her say it to Whitney. I miss Whitney from this version a lot. She really pushed Keatyn. And this Keatyn didn’t have the whole lunch table, trying to strike out on her own thing that she had in Stalk Me. It makes you more proud when she stands up to someone like Whitney as opposed to just thinking she sounds kind of mean.)
Her face turns a bright shade of pink, and the guys all snicker.
Sorry, I wanna be friends with her, I think she’s nice, but she’s not gonna talk shit about me literally right behind my back.
Everyone thinks their ex’s are jerks.
I go to French class with bolstered confidence. I’m going to have no problem tutoring Aiden in French, and I’m going to have no problem resisting him. I’m almost sure I’m kinda in love with Dawson.
He will soon be learning that I’m now immune to his powers.
I walk into class, and he is already in his seat. He gives me that blinding smile, and I swear to God, he just spoke to my soul.
Tonight I’m doing an internet search, How to protect yourself from a demi god.
He’s surprisingly happy to see me.
Says, “Sooo how was your weekend with your Keats boy?”
I’m thinking he already knows the answer to this question, but wants to make me suffer. Suffer for loving another boy. But if he knows about Brooklyn, wouldn’t he also know about Dawson?
“My weekend was fun, but I spent very little of it with Brooklyn.”
Annie says, “Really, what happened?”
But class gets started, and we aren’t allowed to talk.
Then we are allowed to talk, but only in french. So I ramble on about what happened, and they both look at me blankly.
Annie says, “Something about stupid?”
Aiden says, “I got something about boy. So he was a stupid boy?”
“Yeah, basically, that’s the gist of it. I only was at the tournament for about an hour or so, then I left and went up to Dawson’s house. He and Riles had a bunch of people there. It was a lot fun.”
“You shouldn’t be hanging out with Dawson. He’s a jerk.”
Annie says, “He can be a jerk. He’s way hot.”
I turn around to face Aiden, “Why do you think that? No one else thinks that.”
“My sister does.”
“Everyone thinks their ex’s are jerks. It’s easier than admitting they did something wrong in the relationship.”
“Well she’s with Jake now, and she’s happy, so that’s what matters to me.”
And I know I shouldn’t repeat this, really I shouldn’t, but it comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. “Yeah, he asked her out because she’s a hot piece.” (Keatyn’s mean girl comes out here. I didn’t like it, so I cut it.)
His eyes get big at me, and the shock on his face tells me he can’t believe I would say such a thing, so I add, “His words, not mine. You know, even though their breakup was bad, I’ve never heard Dawson say one bad word about your sister. I think that says a lot about a guy.”
He slumps down in his seat and doesn’t say a word, french, or otherwise, for the rest of class.
That or he wants in your pants.
“So you got drunk and had sex with Dawson, huh?” Peyton sneers. (Peyton as the mean girl, too? What?!)
And I can’t help it. I know Dawson told me this in confidence, and he would be disappointed to hear me say this, but I do, “I don’t need to be drunk to want to sleep with Dawson. He’s extremely sexy. But no, the night I got a little drunk, I didn’t sleep with him. Not that it’s any of your business. And you and Jake are adorable. I’m so happy for you. And for him to ask you out so quickly, he must really like you a lot.”
That or he wants in your pants.
But I don’t say that.
I’m above that.
Plus, she could probably make my life a living hell around here if she wanted. She’s very popular. In the I’m a gorgeous super over achiever kind of way. If she weren’t so nice, everyone would probably hate her.
But I also know that Dawson is equally popular. Everyone loves him. And why shouldn’t they? Other than his messy break up with her, he’s stayed out of trouble, has never been viewed as a player, he’s hot, and a good athlete. He’s adorable and sweet. I really don’t care what people think much, but I do know enough to know that what people think can be a fickle thing.
I am definitely screwed.
On my laptop, looking up gods, demigods. I figure it’s important for me to determine what exactly he is, if I’m going to be able to avoid his spells, or cosmic force, or whatever power it is that he has. I also need to do some recon to try and determine if he has this effect on all girls, just me, or just certain ones.
Then I wonder if maybe we were connected somehow in a past life, and that’s why his pull on me is so strong. But also my feelings for him lately have been more toward the hatred side of feelings. Because I HATE that he does this to me.
Smiles at me.
Why does he have to smile at me?
Why does he have to be all, How was your weekend?
UGGG!! So just to set the record straight. I very much believe in God. In ONE God. The gods I am referring to here are of the Greek, maybe Roman, type god world. I have never really determined how they fit into real religion because they don’t really. I think they are more of a thing we study as history. (I so love how obsessed she is with trying to figure out Aiden. How she goes to the Internet for information trying to figure out what magical powers he might have that cause her heart to beat faster when he’s around. His magnetic pull toward her. The way he fills her head with cotton candy.)
But I’m thinking now, maybe they represent temptation.
Just go with me on this.
So technically a demi god is a half god. To become a demi god you typically have one human parent and one god parent. I haven’t met his parents, so I can’t be sure of this. His sister certainly was blessed with many talents and good looks, but she doesn’t seem to have the magnetic pull.
A demi god can also be a human that becomes a god. Or an extremely powerful figure that becomes like a god. He is a male being, usually the result of a god and a mortal getting busy, who has some, but not all, of the powers of a god.
I google search, How to protect yourself from a demigod.
The first article it pulled up was how to protect yourself on facebook.
Not what I was looking for, but I peruse this article for a minute. And just what I thought. There is nothing in there about not allowing friends to tag you in potentially damaging photos that will cause all sorts of shit. Worthless article.
Then I found an article on ways to protect yourself if you are a demi god. The person who wrote this article is apparently one (or thinks he is) and says that he and most demigods are not popular, and this is so they can hide from the monsters, centaurs and things that try to hunt them.
Obviously this person needs to get a life.
He did however raise an interesting point. That most gods are given a weapon by their parent.
But I already know that they gave Aiden his mouth, that smile, those perfect teeth, that silky smooth voice.
Okay, so then I come upon a quiz that says, Take this quiz to find out which of the gods would be your parents.
Obviously, I had to answer the questions for him. It could be he doesn’t even know he is a god yet, and is just testing his fledgling newfound powers out on me. God help me, if he ever discovers their true potential.
Best color? Got to be the green of his eyes. Green.
What do you do in your free time? Flirt.
Your type? Popular.
Your power? Make people fall in love with you.
Your skill? I picked running because he is very fast. I was also told he has very good hands. I think they were referring to his catching and goalie abilities, but I can obviously not confirm the goodness of his hands. As of this writing, his hands have refused to show me their goodness. Like he refused to use them on me, even though I was practically begging.
The decision……drum roll please. Dun, dun, dun, dahhhh…..
Your mother is the gorgeous Aphrodite. She is the goddess of love and most importantly seduction. People can’t help but to fall in love with you. You are probably very good looking. You are also very good at seducing the opposite sex with your godlike charm. But use this trait wisely. Heartbreak is the most painful of wounds. But you don’t really care because you are the one breaking hearts.
SEE!!!! See what I’m up against here?
So then I searched, How to resist a demigod.
Got no answers.
How to resist a god.
No real answers.
And I’m pretty sure Google just laughed at me. (LOL)
Then, How to resist Aphrodite. Maybe if I know how to resist her, I can use that on her son.
So here’s the scoop on Aphrodite. Apparently when she wore her golden Spanx, no god, or mortal, could resist her. And even when she didn’t wear them, there were only three gods that could resist her. They were all apparently virgins. (And also girls, which I found a bit disturbing). (The Golden Spanx make me laugh.)
There goes what little hope I had.
Also, I just read the story of Aphrodite, and she was apparently one mean, lying, slutty, bitch. So she gets herself all gorgeous, meets this dude. He, of course, thought she was too hot to be mortal, asked her if she was a god. She lies to this dude, told him that she was just a maiden, talked him into taking her back to his place, seduced him, purposely got pregnant, then told him she was a god, that she was going to name their son something that translates to AWFUL, and proceeds to tell this dude he’s like beneath her and shit, even though he was like hot and nice. (I love how she makes the god’s lives sounds like a reality TV show.)
Later she had something to do with the Trojan war that caused a bunch of people to die, then she had an affair with some dude named Ares, but they got caught and were being punished, but maybe she got out of it by promising to sleep with Hermes.
She also apparently fell in love with Adonis, who was punished for that and sent to the underworld where he fell in love with someone else, and he got to see her for like half a year and be with the other chick for half the year.
So basically, if you ask me, this goddess should not be the goddess of love, she is obviously the goddess of hooking up and then turning against you. She’s mean!
Shouldn’t the goddess of love be all lovey and beautiful and sweet? No, this bitch used her beauty to get whatever she wanted.
So the verdict.
If this is half of what I’m up against. I am definitely screwed.
Katie screams out: “It’s Facebook official finally, Jake and Peyton are in a relationship.”
(Also, I just realized that there are no scripts in this version. That was one of the things I loved about Keatyn. Scripts were also a good literary device for me. They allowed me to show growth in Keatyn. And how Aiden helped her want to live an unscripted life. To her learning that she can’t control everything. And everyone.)
Wednesday, September 7th
We stand in line a lot. We talk.
Bryce, Jake and I are sitting in class playing with clay. We are contemplating, planning, thinking, about what we are going to try and create out of this single piece of clay. There’s a metaphor, or a life meaning thing in that statement, possibly about me molding my life, I think, but I am too busy gossiping with Bryce and Jake to care.
I say, “So Jakeyy, heard it’s all facebook official. You and Peyton going out.”
“Uh, yeah, I guess so.”
“You don’t see that thrilled.”
“She’s not exactly what I expected.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, I thought she was like perfect, but she’s like kinda clingy. And I swear, the only time SHE kisses ME is in front of Dawes. It kinda pisses me off.”
“Yeah, I kinda noticed that.”
Bryce says, “Speaking of Dawes, what’s up with you two?”
“I don’t know. We’re hanging out, having fun. It’s new, chill, we’re getting to be really good friends. I like him.”
“Are you worried he and Peyton will get back together, and he’ll dump you?”
“Well, we aren’t going out. He says he doesn’t like her anymore, and I think he had A LOT of um, rebound girls this summer, but does that mean he’s ready for a relationship with me, or anyone else? I really don’t know.”
Bryce says, “It looks like your uh, relationship is doing just fine.”
“Stop insinuating shit. I hate when people do that. If you wanna know something or say something, just say it.”
“You seem pretty tight, like maybe having sex tight.”
Jake, “Wait. So I’m going out with Peyton, can’t hang with other girls, getting zero and you aren’t going out with Dawes, he can do what he wants, and he’s getting it? Dude, that’s jacked up.”
“I never said he’s getting it, but yeah, pretty much. He asked me if we should be going out, but I said no. I mean, I don’t wanna rush things. I want to be sure he’s over Peyton and even though he says he is, I’m still not sure. Plus I’m still kind of getting over someone myself.”
“Heard what the surfer dude did to you. That was pretty low.”
“Oh my gosh! How do you hear this stuff?”
“Football practice. We stand in line a lot. We talk,” Jake says.
“Dawson told me,” Bryce says.
Jake looks at me closely. “Riley told me. He have a crush on you? Cause someone said something about you, and he about came unglued.”
“Well someone made a remark about you and Dawson and it um, well it was sorta derogatory toward you. And Riley like slammed him up against the locker and told him to shut the fuck up.”
“What?! When was this?”
“Yesterday, after practice.”
“Why did he not tell me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Wait. Who said something about me and Dawson?”
“Um, it might have been Peyton’s bro.”
“WHAT DID HE SAY??”
“That Dawson was just using you. Well actually he used a different word than using. Sorry.” (Aiden! How could you?!)
“I know I haven’t been here very long. I told Dawson last week that his reputation sucked. It needed a makeover. Does my image need a makeover? Do you guys think I’m slutty? Do people think that?”
Bryce says, “Well, I don’t. I think you’re fun. You have kissed a lot of guys though, but you just kissed them, right? I mean that’s what I’ve heard.”
“Yeah, well except for Dawes, we did more than kiss this weekend. And I haven’t kissed anyone since.”
“Three whole days, huh?” (Point for Jake.)
“You’re cute and you’re chill. Guys like hanging out with girls that aren’t all high maintenance. Like at the cave, you can just chill. You don’t sit there talking the whole time about how we could get in trouble, about your hair, about whatever it is that most girls babble on about. And this weekend, I heard you got up in the morning, rolled out of bed and surfed. No hour of getting ready, no insecurities about how you look in a bikini, no complaining that it’s too hot or too cold, or that the guys were hitting on girls.”
I laugh. “Haha, no way I’d complain about that. That was like the most entertaining part of the weekend. Watching Tyrese in action. He’s got that smooth, baby you sexy, thing. Then Riley. He just like throws it out there. You’re hot. Let’s hook up. Dallas is like the boy you think is all sweet and innocent and adorable and boom, next thing you know he’s kissing you. And Ace. He just lets his body do the talking. Walks around all buff and girls are like, Heyyyy. And then when he can’t talk to them about like something intellectual, he dismisses them as too boring.”
“Wow, you pegged them all. That’s funny. How am I?”
“Bryce, I really haven’t seen you in action, but what do you think of Maggie? She’s so cute.”
Jake says, “Maggie is very pretty. Her hair always looks so shiny.”
Maggie is very pretty. She’s got gorgeous natural auburn colored hair and green eyes. And even though she is probably naturally fair skinned, she tans to a really pretty light bronze color. She kinda glows.
Bryce agrees, “She’s hot. I’d totally do her.”
“I meant like as a date, not doing her.”
“Oh, well we could do that first. Introduce me tomorrow night at the game?”
“Okay. And Jake, you seem to be like a chameleon. You are whatever you think the girl wants.”
“Oh, dude. That is you. You change every time you date a different girl.”
“Is that good or bad?” Jake wonders.
“I’d rather get to know the real you. Because I think you’re kinda naughty. I think you have a devious little mind. You size people up quick, figure out what they want, and fulfill their need in order to get what you want from them. You’re the used car salesman of dating.” (This is so Jake.)
Bryce bursts out laughing, the teacher yells at him. We go back to staring at our clay.
Jake whispers, “Tomorrow’s topic of discussion is how long a girl will make you wait and why? Do some research on that Kiki.”
You’re my hero.
I tell Dawson that I’m gonna go sit with my friends today, cuz I wanna talk to Riley.
“You shoved Aiden up against the locker yesterday?”
Riley gets kinda shy looking, “Oh that. Uh, yeah, I guess.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You want to put a nail in me and Aiden’s love coffin, him saying shit about me would do it.”
He rolls his eyes. “I just…it’s not a big deal. I just kinda reacted.”
I look him in the eyes. “Riley, it’s a big deal to me. You stood up for me. It’s sweet.”
“See, I knew you’d go the whole all, it’s so sweet of me, thats why I didn’t tell you.”
“That and he didn’t wanna hurt your feelings,” Dallas tells me.
I give him my awww that’s soooo sweet eyes. Like the eyes you use when you see a newborn, or a floppy eared puppy, or the boy who just slammed a god into a locker for you. You feel a little love.
“You’re my hero.” (Mine too.)
“I told you, I feel this strange need to protect you. And for some reason, I think you’re going to need a lot of protecting.” He rolls his eyes at me.
I think about what I read about demi gods on that weird kid’s website. About how sometimes you don’t know you are a god until you meet your…..shit, what was the word he used? It was like satyr. Is that even a word? Anyway like he’s your god guide, and he helps keep you safe til you learn to use your powers properly. I say, “You’re like my satyr.”
“You’re a freak, and you’re taking this whole God of all Hottie thing way too far.”
“Did I tell you I figured out his mother must have been the goddess, Aphrodite. And I need to take Greek Mythology class because that woman was interesting. She’s supposed to be the goddess of love, but she like tricked this dude into thinking she was just a pretty maiden, and he knew she was way too hot for that, but she seduced him and got herself pregnant, then was a total bitch to him. She is also a slut. She like got out of god jail or something by promising some other god her body.”
Parker chimes in, “Dude, I wanna take that class too. Damn.”
We chat happily about naughty things for the rest of lunch.
And what is it with boys? They really like to talk about a certain body part. I tried really hard to seem cool and unembarrassed.
And after hearing them go on and on, I’m pretty sure each one of those boys think their own penis is a demi god.
As we’re throwing what’s left of lunch in the trash and putting our trays away, Riley says, “If you like my brother, why are you looking up god stuff on the internet?”
“He’s using his powers against me. I was looking for ways to ward him off. Like garlic to scare off a vampire kinda thing.”
“You’re so weird.”
Dawson walks up, says, “Bro” and slaps Riley on the back. “We’re gonna work on that two step drop at practice today, k?”
Riley grins and says, “Sure!”
Then he turns to me and says, “Keatie.” And gives me his sexy, you can’t resist me eyes. Plus the way he says Keatie. Like I seriously melt. “How was your lunch?” (Keatie. It was literally all he had to say. That nickname made me melt.)
“Sucked without you. What were you talking about over there?”
“Did you know your brother slammed Aiden up against a locker yesterday for talking shit about us?”
“Everyone knows that.”
“I was going to tell you. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Or make you regret it.”
“People suspect. They don’t know. Speaking of that. Do you want to again? I mean I thought that would be like all you’d want, like a lot of my friends after they do, they say it’s like all their boyfriend wants. Not that you’re my boyfriend, they just had boyfriend at the time like, and I’m rambling. I’m sorry.”
He kisses my nose. “I don’t want us to be about just sex. I like you.”
“I like you too.”
“But trust me, I want to. I’ve just been trying to be good. Oh, I have a question. Why are you embarrassed to tell me about your parents?”
“Why don’t you tell me about your parents first?”
“Okay, we’ll talk about all that this weekend. In bed.” He grins.
“You think you can use your romantic ways to get me to tell you a secret? Maybe they’re international spies, and it will put your life in jeopardy if I tell you. Maybe they’re in the witness protection program because my mom had a baby with a mob boss, and then stole some secret files. Maybe if I tell you, I will have to kill you.”
Go to french class on cloud nine, until I see Aiden and remember what he said about me.
I turn around and say, “Heard about practice yesterday, good to know you think so highly of me.”
He doesn’t respond.
It’s a fake ass kicking.
I know she probably wont answer, but I call anyways. At least she will see my missed call. I am surprised when Tommy answers her phone.
“Hey Kiki, hows life, baby?”
“It’s okay. How come you’re not like filming or whatever right now?”
He clears his throat. “Well, your mom is. She’s kissing our co-star as we speak. I couldn’t watch. Good news is, later in the movie, I get to kick his ass.”
“Yeah, but it’s a fake ass kicking.”
“Well you know, sometimes you forget a step in a choreographed fight scene, and sometimes the punches actually connect. It’s really unfortunate, but it happens.” (Tommy is awesome.)
He laughs. “So hey, I’m glad you called. We just got our premiere schedule and are going to be doing the rounds in Europe mid November, so we thought we’d do Thanksgiving in France. Can you do that?”
“I could but it would be hard. I would be traveling a lot of the time. We’re only off Wednesday through Sunday.” (Obviously, this got cut because she couldn’t see her family.)
“True. Hmmm. Well can you come up here sometime before that? Bring Gorgeous?”
“We do have a bye week when I don’t have to dance in a couple weeks. I’ll text Marcus the dates. I don’t know about bringing anyone though.”
“So what will you do over Thanksgiving?”
“I don’t know. Haven’t thought about it.”
“Well, you could go stay at my loft in New York. Or you could take some friends maybe and go down to the place in St Kitts. Hang at the beach. Or go to Malibu.” (Even though she ended up at a loft in New York, having her pick it, buy it, furnish it, all that stuff herself was a big deal for her—rather than me just making it one of their homes. Knowing she couldn’t go home made her feel afloat. No anchor. The loft in New York gave her that anchor. And became a special place for her and Aiden.)
“Yeah, I don’t know. I’ll think about it. You’d be okay with that? Like me having friends there, no supervision?”
“Well, I might send James or Billy.”
Billy is the biggest of the family security crew.
“Uugggg. I want to blend in, Tommy.”
“I’ll tell you what, you leave the country, you take Billy. You stay at the loft, you can stay by yourself. Just be responsible.”
“I can do that.”
“Also Pauli and your mom have decided you’re not to fly commercial. They’re worried about that. Also when we do the premiere over Christmas, here in the states, you’re to be on the red carpet with us.” (This scene right here is what sparked the stalker idea. Because I reread this and was like why can’t she fly commercial? What’s happened in their past to make them worry about that? Was it simply because Abby and Tommy were famous, or was there more? Obviously, it became so much more.)
“Can I just go slit my wrists now instead?”
“You really should try out for the drama production at school, you’re being a little theatrical, don’t you think?”
“Haha, maybe. So does that mean I get the jet at my beck and call? I might jet off to Fiji this weekend.”
“When it’s available you can use it, but I think they got you one of those fractional ownership things to use. So I’m sure Marcus will be sending you info. You know, it’s okay to enjoy it.”
“Some of the perks.”
“I’ve always enjoyed the perks, Tommy. Look at the house in Malibu. It’s like heaven.
Hey off the wall question, but why is your hair always long?”
“Hiding my horns probably.” He laughs a full on belly laugh.
“So you ARE a satyr.”
“Kiki, you’re silly. No, I’m not. Besides, I played Zeus, I was a god. How’s things going with the god anyways?”
“They’re not.” I sigh. “He told guys that Gorgeous is just using me. I hate him, and I will not be tutoring him in french. Gorgeous asked me to go out with him. I told him no.
Are you and mom ever going to get married? It’s no wonder I don’t want to commit.”
“That or you are in love with the hottie god.” (Tommy is a smart man.)
“Well there’s that. But I can’t love a jerk, so clearly I can not be in love with him.”
Tommy lowers his voice and says, “Wanna hear a secret?”
“I’m going to ask your mom to marry me. I have to figure out a cool way to propose, and I was wondering if you would look at a couple ring designs and tell me which one you think she would like best.” (Eek!)
“Really!!!! I would love to!!!”
“I’ll have Marcus email them to you when they’re ready. I think we’d get married pretty quick, so be ready.
“Break a leg, baby.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Good luck with your boy issues.”
Oh shit, my bad.
Dawson is laying on top of me, kissing me. One of the perks of being a senior is having your own room. Still don’t get your own bathroom though. He and Jake’s room connect through a shared bathroom. Dawson has his bedroom door locked, but just about the time he has my shirt unbuttoned and his hand up my skirt, Jake walks in through the bathroom door, saying, “Hey Dawes.” Then, “Oh shit, my bad.”
And it sorta breaks the mood.
Well, my mood. Dawson is still in full horn dog mode.
He’s kissing my neck. Running his hands up my sides.
Finally I say, “Um, Dawes?”
And he’s like, “What, Keatie?”
“Can we just talk for a minute, start over maybe. Sorry, uh, that kinda embarrassed me.”
“Really? Oh. I’m sorry.”
He gets off the bed, sits in his desk chair, pulls on a shirt.
“Okay, so shoot, whatcha wanna talk about?”
“You were going to tell me about your parents, your family.”
“Boring,” he laughs. “Well okay, so there’s me and Riles, and then we have an older brother, Camden. He’s at Columbia. Then a younger brother, Bronson. He’s in eighth grade, can’t wait to come here next year. Dad is a bond trader, and Mom used to be a doctor, but she finally gave it up after she had her fourth boy. We’re pretty close, they live in Manhattan, have the place in the Hamptons. That’s about it. How bout you?”
I chicken out.
“He’s so easy to talk to, but still. And that fact that even though he didn’t want to stop messing around, but did just because I asked and didn’t give me a hard time about it, makes me adore him.
And well, I still want him, so smile at him, unzip his shorts, straddle him, and make him forget any questions he might have.
A little bit later, he’s all relaxed and lazily kissing my check. “That was amazing. God, you like always surprise me. It’s so freaking hot. I thought we were gonna just sit here and talk. Well til you attacked me.”
“I guess I couldn’t resist you any longer, plus, it’s been a couple days, and you’ve been good. Like you haven’t been all sex sex.”
“What’s wrong with sex sex?”
“Nothing. I just don’t want it to be all about sex.”
“Yeah,” he says, running his fingers through my hair, “you smell so good.”
“You feel so good.” I kiss him, rake my fingers hard through his hair, lean my chest into his face.
“You’re going to make me hard again.”
And well…..he’s apparently good at keeping promises.
I heart math homework.
Jake texts me: Don’t forget to do your ceramics homework 🙂
So Katie, Maggie, Annie and me are laying on the floor of our room, finishing up our homework.
Maggie is painting her toenails, worrying about being introduced to Bryce tomorrow at lunch. Katie is practicing a tricky dance combination that she can’t seem to get right. Annie is on facebook, creeping on Ace’s profile and yelling out people’s statuses. I just got back to my room a few minutes ago, and I’m actually finishing up some math problems. Dawson was supposed to help me with them, but well, you know.
No math got done.
Annie screeches out, “OH MY GOD! Listen to the status Dawson just posted. It says, I heart math homework, then a winky face. What does that mean?”
“It means we were supposed to do my math homework.”
“Supposed to??” She raises her eyebrows at me.
Katie says, “You’re doing your math homework now.”
“Yeah, thats why he hearts it, no homework was done.”
Maggie moves over closer to me and is like, “Ohhhhh, what did you do? People are all speculating on if you guys have had sex. You would tell us if you had right?”
“Uh, I don’t know, I think that’s kinda private personally.”
Annie isn’t satisfied, “So what did you do then?”
“Just messed around, you know. It was fun. We have fun.”
Maggie is like, “Must of been, but speaking of that. Here’s a question.”
“Hang on. Jake just texted me again.”
“Jake?? Peyton’s Jake? Why is he texting you??” Annie screeches.
“We have class together, and he gave me some homework.”
Maggie is confused. “Homework for ceramics? What? Wait.”
Annie yells. “Oh my gosh!! Jake just commented on Dawson’s status. He says, Dude, your math homework is hot 🙂
Katie grins, “What does that mean?”
“Oh, he kinda walked in on us, like making out. Well my shirt was kinda unbuttoned, and my skirt was maybe slightly askew, but we were dressed. Well his shirt was off, but it was when I got there. He had just showered. He smelled so gooooddd. So anyways, Jake and Bryce want to know how a girl decides when the right time to sleep with a guy is. Like do you have to be going out? If so, how long? Maggie, you’re the oldest of us. What did you do?”
“Well, I dated a guy for a year. He wanted to, I never did it. Then this summer, I did it with a guy I dated for a month. And then since then, it depends on my mood.” (I want to hang out in an Eastbrooke dorm and not do my homework but gossip instead. The dorm scenes are some of my favorites. I love how close the girls get and how they care about each other. They are all so different, yet. . . not.)
Katie says, “I went out with my boyfriend for like six months before we did.”
Annie says, “I’m waiting to do it with someone I’m really in love with.”
“Yeah, but if you are in love with him, how long would you make him wait?”
“How long you going to make Dawson wait?”
“No, it’s not about me. It’s like I’m supposed to get a general consensus.”
“I’m going to go down the hall and ask people,” Maggie says, “I’m bored with history, this sounds more fun.” She goes off with a pencil and a notebook.
Annie says, “Dawson just replied to Jake’s comment. Isn’t it funny, that they are commenting each other, and they like live right next door to each other?”
“That is kinda funny. What’d he say?”
“He said, Effing hot.”
“Oh and Ace just said, I wanna do your math homework too. I don’t think you can handle it by your self.”
“Oh, I don’t like that. Oh, and Dawson didn’t like that either. He said, Not cool, Ace.
And Ace again, Jkjk. This is exciting!” she raves. Oh wait, now Jake says, Dawes looked like he was handling things just fine.
Dawson says, Hell yeah.
I text Dawson.
Me: Love your status, hate the comments.
Dawson: Sorry Keatie 🙁 they just think we made out.
Me: Jake saw your hand up my skirt. I’m pretty sure he knows it was more than that. Plus, you just said, hell yeah. Making out doesn’t usually get a hell yeah.
Me: Do you want to tell people?
Dawson: No but it’s kinda fun to have them guessing, I never, um, never mind. I’ll tell them to stop.
Me: Naw, it’s okay. Have fun, just keep them guessing.
Dawson: You make me feel so amazing.
me: Doesn’t every guy says that after sex?
Dawson: You don’t get it. YOU make me feel amazing, yeah, the sex is great, but it’s because it’s with you. Go out with me.
Me: 🙂 and no freaking way!!!
Dawson: I’m hurt!
Me: Then don’t ask a girl to go out by text. It’s tacky. Plus, then you will think it’s okay to break up with me by text, and that is not cool.
Dawson: I’m not going to break up with you. Like ever.
Me: Promises promises.
Dawson: Made good on my promise earlier 😉
Me: Yeah you did. Um tomorrow, I do wanna talk to you about something.
Dawson: Tell me now 🙁
Me: It’s not bad, I’m just going to visit my family in a couple weeks and they asked if I would be bringing you, but it seems like too soon. But I won’t get to see them again until Christmas cuz they are going to be out of town on Thanksgiving and I’m rambling…..sorry.
Dawson: I’d love to go, as long as you don’t have to kill me after.
Me: 🙂 Night.
Me: Hey wait, we are taking a poll, how long do you think a girl should make a guy wait for sex? Like not us, but normally.
Dawson: I think whatever we did was perfect. Seriously. I might just be in love with you 🙂
Annie is still rambling on. Ace just said, We gonna kick some ass friday night? and then some guy named Brad said, Fuck yeah, and then, oh wait, it’s gone. Ohhhhh, awwww, ohmigawd, Dawson just changed his status. It says, Keatie and then there’s a heart. That is sooo cute.”
Katie says, “That is really cute. You need to like that.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Well, I’m liking it.”
“Everyone is liking it.” Annie informs us. “Like eight people have already liked it.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know any of them, wait, there’s more, now there’s like fourteen, most of his guy friends, Riley. Oh, Dallas just commented and said, Kiki.
Katie says, “Okay. You seriously need to move away from the computer, you’re obsessed. Where’s Maggie?”
“I don’t know,” Annie tells her, “but I need cookies. Let’s go down to the kitchen.”
“You bring back cookies. I’m gonna be up all night if I don’t get to work.”
Katie is standing by the door, turns back around. “That’s what they make redbull for, silly.”
I get about fifteen minutes of interruption free studying, well not really, my phone keeps buzzing with texts, but I don’t look at it, and manage to get my math problems done and start the history vocab before they all come bounding back into the room.
“Okay, here’s the consensus.” Maggie says. “Most girls say they have waited anywhere from one day to one year, they say they should be going out with them, if they like the guy, but if they don’t like the guy, and it’s just a hookup they won’t necessarily wait.”
“They are having sex with guys they don’t like?”
“No. I mean like guys they don’t deem as serious boyfriend types.”
“You guys ever watch Sex and the City?”
“I’ve seen some of them and the movies,” Annie states.
I had a Sex and the City marathon with my friend last summer when she broke her leg and couldn’t do anything. Like for four days straight we did nothing but watch the series. And on there they talk about the third date as being the sex date.”
And didn’t Tommy says something like that too?
“Yeah, but they’re grown up. I think it’s different when you date boys our age. Like you don’t want to be just doing it with anyone. And you want them to respect you,” Katie states.
“So basically there are no rules. You just go with what you feel like?”
Maggie laughs, “Uh, well no, if we went with what we felt like, we’d all be sluts.”
We all laugh.
Annie says, “It really is hard for girls. I don’t think guys even understand. I don’t think parents understand. Like our parents tell us don’t do it, be a good girl. Our bodies tell us we should be doing it. Like it used to be once you got your period, you were a woman. You got married and had sex. Guys want you to do it, but they don’t want you to do it too soon. And if you don’t do it soon enough, sometimes they will dump you. So then you think, oh, I’ll wait until I find a guy who really love me. But then some guy tells you he loves you, you do it, and he decides he doesn’t. Society tells us not to do it, but then we have all these sexy images of how we should look. It’s really confusing.” (I love how Annie thinks about stuff from every single angle.)
“That’s true,” I say. I think everyone has to make their own decision. Whether you are 15, 17, 25, 40. I think what ever is right for you is what you should do.”
Katie digests it all and says, “True.”
Maggie says, “So I think it’s a combination of how the guy treats you, how much you like him, if he seems serious, and if he respects you.” Then she adds naughtily, “And then when you can’t say no any longer, you give in.”
Annie says, “So we know Katelyn’s only done it with her boyfriend, wait, have you and Tyrese?”
“No. I can’t with him. I mean, he’s hot and older, and he’s probably good at it, but we’d definitely have to be going out first. And then, I’d still wait some.”
Then Annie turns to me, “And you were just with Brooklyn, and I haven’t done it yet, so Maggie, have you ever had a random hookup? Like not been with someone you weren’t dating?”
Maggie is a sophomore like Annie.
Maggie says, “Um, I have.”
“I can’t decide if I’d rather have to deal with a stupid boyfriend and all the love bullshit, or the shame I feel when I hookup.” (LOL Maggie. She is funny.)
“That’s pretty deep,” I tell her. “Okay guys, I’m calling bedtime.”
I lay in bed and think more about Sex in the City, and it pops into my head that Carrie dated a guy named Aiden for quite a while, and they were even engaged, but then she got back with Mr. Big because he was the one for her. So who is Dawson, and who is Aiden? Is Aiden my Mr. Big, or will I end up with him at some point, only to decide he’s not the one? Or is he the one, and that’s why he has such a magnetic pull on me? Or have I even met my Mr. Big yet? And these boys I know now are like the different boyfriends she had over the years, like the guy that played jazz and was like hyper, or the guy that was her sex buddy, or I don’t know, I can’t remember then all, which is really the point. They were there, but they weren’t special. They were just a short chapter in her life. But she didn’t really know at the time they weren’t special, did she? (Yes, this mess of rambling got cut.)
I’m not sure, all I know is Dawson feels special. And he said he’d go meet the family. He has no idea what he is in for.
I know a lot of actors, maybe I should hire fake parents. Naw, if he’s special, then he should probably know. Maybe.
Kinda like the sex, it’s just not something I want to get around.
I go to sleep, and my dreams are haunted by satyrs, and evil love gods, and centaurs, and eventually I’m in a meadow, dressed in a white gown with golden trim. I walk out to the middle of the clearing and meet the man I’m getting ready to marry. He’s blurry though because I’m wearing a veil, but I can see from his outline he is very handsome, and my heart knows I love him. We he have the wedding, say I do, and he kisses me through the veil. Then he takes me out of the clearing to his dorm room for our honeymoon, and I’m sitting on a chair straddling him, like earlier today. We are kissing and kissing through the veil, and he’s taking off my wedding gown, and then I’m naked except for my veil, and we’re consummating our marriage. Finally, he lifts the veil in the middle of the consummation to kiss me, and there staring back at me is not the Dawson that I expected. It’s Aiden, wearing a gold laurel wreath around his head. I wake up sort of throbbing down there. (Aiden is literally the man of her dreams.)
And wondering what the hell?
Thursday, September 8th.
It’s tutoring with food
I walk into French, where my teacher, Miss Praline, pulls me aside.
“Aiden said you won’t be tutoring him. I’d like you to reconsider that.”
“He just really struggled in French 1 and barely passed, so he’s already behind. He needs this to play soccer at an Ivy League school, which is his goal. So the school wants to make sure he passes. I’ll give you extra credit.”
“I don’t need extra credit. I’m very good at french.”
“No. He’s not nice to me.”
“Look, I have an idea. How bout I get you on the social committee? It’s a big honor, and there are no freshman on the committee, so what do you say?”
I think about that for a minute. Dawson thought about getting on it, and it is a big deal. Way bigger than student council. Hmmmm.
“I say you might just have a a deal.”
I sit in my seat, turn around and try not to look at Aiden’s mouth. “So I heard you REALLY suck at french.”
He frowns a little, and it looks so odd on his mouth.
I was NOT supposed to be looking at his mouth. What am I doing? (I love her obsession with his mouth, the source of his power.)
“Yeah, I do.”
“Well, I got asked really nice, and possibly bribed, by the teacher into helping you, so I guess I am.”
“Really! Keatyn, that’s awesome.” And he grins that smile that blinds me, causes me to forget where I am and makes me want to grab his hand and run off to the land of milk and honey, or you know, somewhere magical.
“When can we start? Can we do it like after football practice, or would you rather wait until after dinner?”
I was thinking about saying, lets do it after practice, get it over with, but I’ll be sweaty from soccer and dance, and I can’t tutor a god and be sweaty. But I also don’t want to miss going to like games and stuff with Dawson, so hmmm. “Yeah, lets do it right after football most nights, cause we want to still be able to go watch the other games and stuff at night. But maybe we will have to be a bit flexible on the times?”
He looks dreamily at me, “I will be there, whenever you need me.” (Sigh.)
“What?! No. You need me.”
He frowns again, puts his hand over his eyes. “I have no idea why I said that. I meant I’ll be there.”
“Okay, so you have a game tonight, and we have a lot due tomorrow. Do you have it done yet?”
“No. I haven’t really started.”
“Well I have dance til five. What time do you have to be like in the locker room?”
“Not til six. And dance is over at 4:30. How about I order some pizza, you can come to my room, and we’ll study and eat? Be there at five.”
“That sounds like a date. And if I come straight from dance, I’ll be all gross.”
“It’s tutoring with food, and I doubt you are ever gross.”
And I can’t help it. I know I like Dawson, but still the way he said it, made me melt a little.
Right now, I’m like the lipstick you left in your car in hundred degree weather. (Can you blame her?)
Then he adds, “Plus if you’re gross, I won’t want to kiss you, so maybe that’s for the best anyways.”
He wants to kiss me!!!!!
Focus, Keatyn. Focus, girl. You can do it. Speak. Say something coherent.
“Yeah, that hasn’t gone so well for us in the past.”
Well shit! That was coherent, but a SLAM!! I didn’t really want to slam him. I swear, I either am in love with this boy, or I hate him. (Some of my favorite parts of Keatyn and Aiden arguing happen during French. I love their little notes, the dirty French words, the way he leans up and speaks into her ear.)
“I’d disagree with that. I thought our kisses were amazing. It’s the other stuff that maybe hasn’t gone so well.”
I decide to shut up. Nod my head in agreement and try and look busy with my french notebook.
After class, I grab ahold of Annie. Like literally grabbed her, so she couldn’t get away from me, clung to her for dear life, practically. But tried to be very cool when I said, “So you going to the game with us tonight?”
She gets ready to reply, but Aiden breezes past us and says, “See ya tonight, Boots.”
Both me and Annie freeze. “Why are you seeing him tonight?”
“I decided to tutor him.”
“Oooohhhhh. Lucky girl. What’s Dawson gonna think of that?”
“It’s like a job. He won’t care.” (It’s like a job—sure it is.)
I don’t think.
I want my kisses to haunt his dreams.
I’m pretty good at dance, for some strange reason. It’s not that I’m some amazing dancer, but I have a really good memory, and I catch on quick. So when I learn a routine, I learn it quick and don’t mess up much or forget to do it in the right order.
But today, well, I’m just plain distracted.
And who could blame me?
I’m about to throw myself into the lion’s den!
So my mind has one thing on it. That in exactly thirty-two and a half minutes, I am going to be alone in a room with Aiden.
Teaching him the language of love.
And mostly likely, thinking I would like to teach him with my lips. (Yet she keeps telling herself she loves Dawson. Don’t you just want to shake the girl, slap a little sense into her? I mean, I get it. I know that Aiden confuses her, but still.)
So yes, I get yelled at by Peyton. Little Miss Perfect Captain and Queen of Everything. If I didn’t find her so nice, I would seriously hate her. I do sort of hate her, for one reason. Her and Aiden share the same mouth. Like when she smiles, I can almost see his face. So when she is nice and smiles at me, I pretty much comply to what she tells me.
I’m dancing, dancing, drinking water, breathing occasionally, dancing, thinking now there are nineteen and three quarters minutes left of practice.
And I need practice to start being over a little early, so I will have a few minutes to wash off the sweat and make myself look good. I’m also trying to decide what I should wear to his room. Do I go the I just got done with dance, and I look so hot wearing my teeny shorts and little red and yellow tie dyed shirt, but at the same time I didn’t put forth any effort to get all dolled up for you? Do I put my uniform back on, or do I wear what I am going to wear to the game after?
And then I think about Dawson, cute adorable Dawson, who told me he might love me.
Maybe I should look bad on purpose. So Aiden won’t want to kiss me.
But NO, I don’t want him to not want to kiss me.
I want my kisses to haunt his dreams.
I want him to beg for me.
Seriously, the next time he tries to kiss me, I’m going to turn the other way.
I want him down on his knees begging. Please, Boots, please!
Oh, shit. I just kicked at totally the wrong time.
Step up my game. Do the rest of the routine to perfection. Turn, kick, shimmy, turn right, spin, kick, kick, spirit hands.
Lets get the heck out of here.
We have to stop and discuss tomorrow night’s festivities. We are having a dance sleep over. Everyone is all excited and giddy about this. This is where big and little sisters are announced. As expected, they will team one older girl with one of us younger ones, for reasons I am not even sure yet. I guess to help us assimilate to high school or something.
I finally decide to sneak my way out of the dance room and into the changing room. I give myself a quick sink shower, touch up my makeup, throw on deodorant, some perfume and figure what the hell, let’s give him the legs, leave on my booty shorts, throw on a clean T-shirt, grab my bag and get over there.
Okay, fine. I did brush my teeth too. Not because I am thinking I might kiss him. That thought never crossed my mind.
I’m seriously weighted down with my school backpack, my dance duffle, and another bag with crap to wear tonight. Which is really dumb, since my dorm is like close. As I come out of the field house, there’s Dawson stalking me. He’s apparently done with his football workout. Of course, all he is carrying is a little teeny bag.
He’s like, “Where are you going in such a hurry? I thought we could hang before the game.”
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, Miss Praline asked me to tutor someone that’s not doing well in french class. Well, I didn’t want to, but she bribed me kinda. Actually it’s pretty exciting. Don’t tell anyone, but she’s going to get me on the social committee.”
He hugs me. My duffle drops to the ground. “That’s awesome, Keatie. Maybe I should see if I can get on it too. We could plan some fun stuff for this place!”
“That would be fun. Okay, so give me a kiss, and then I gotta go. I’ll just meet you up in the stands.”
“You wearing them shorts?”
“Not to the game, no. All the guys would stare, and I’d end up in a fight.” He pulls me in tight to him, “But tonight, after the game, in my room, definitely.”
“You’re a bad boy.”
“I hope I’m good.” he teases.
“Okay, see you later.”
And I bound off. He is following me, of course, because both boys live in the same dorm.
He runs up behind me, grabs my bags and says, “Geeze, why do you need so much stuff?”
“Well I have my school stuff, my dance stuff, my stuff to wear to the game. I didn’t know what I was gonna wear to tutor him, so I just brought it all.”
I walk up to the boys dorm and start to open the door.
“Yes, him. Don’t go getting all stupid jealous. I wanna go and get this over with so I can snuggle up with you in the stands and watch the game.”
“Mhmm, okay. Maybe we should go to the game late? Just come to my room when you’re done.”
“I was just in your room last night.”
“Yeah, I know. It was amazing. But I’m not expecting that. I mean, unless you force me. Which would be pretty hot.”
“We’ll save that for another day. I was thinking about going into New York to do some shopping either this weekend or next. Would you want to come with me?”
“I’m not a big shopper, and I hate the stupid train, but we could stay at our apartment, like I can call my mom or whatever.”
“Or we could stay alone at my step dad’s loft?”
“This weekend. Sign me up.”
“Yeah, I thought so. I really do have to go now.” I drop him off at his door.
You’ve been creeping on me.
Race upstairs to Aiden’s room. I’m like late. Knock on his door, smell pizza.
He opens the door. “You’re late, Boots.” Blinding smile. (Oh, can we take a moment to appreciate the god’s mouth? Or how many different ways I came up with to describe his god-like smile.)
“Kept the lights up, I see.”
“Yeah, well everyone likes to party in here, I’m at the end of the hall on the top floor opposite side of our dorm advisor, so you know what they say, location, location, location.”
“So lets get started.”
“Yeah, lets.” He grabs a piece of gooey pizza, holds it up to my mouth and tries to feed me. I was going to resist because, you know, but he gave me that grin, and I just opened my mouth.
“Aren’t you going to eat too?”
“Naw. I can’t eat stuff like that before a game, or I’d puke. I got it for you.”
“And how did you know pepperoni and black olives is my favorite?”
And so unhealthy.
“It’s on your Facebook profile.”
“Damn, you’ve been creeping on me.” (A little foreshadowing here. Even though this version doesn’t have Vincent, I kept this scene because his interest in knowing everything he can about her is what drives him to figure out who she is. And what takes us to the scene in Get Me, when he says, Baby, I already knew. And I had been DYING for you guys to know that piece of the puzzle.)
“Naw, okay, maybe just a little. You have some really good pictures. I especially like the ones of you in that dress you wore to the dance. When we danced. I love that dress.”
“You didn’t comment or like any of the pictures.”
“Yeah, I know. You were mad at me.”
“I’m still mad at you, but here we are.”
He grins, “I’m so glad I suck at french.”
“Okay, so lets go over these workbook pages, we don’t have much time.”
So we do, well, we got two of the four pages done. And then it was time for him to go.
“I better get going, Coach gets pissed if we’re late.”
“Good luck,” I say.
He gets in closer to me. “So what’s the deal with you and Dawson?”
He’s uh, a little too close for comfort, and I’m starting to sweat. I take a step back, say, “I guess we’re like dating, sorta.”
“So you’re single, sorta?”
“Uh, I’m not sure, exactly. We haven’t really discussed it. I mean he asked me about going out, but I told him I thought it was too soon, plus I’m not convinced he’s over your sister. But he did tell me he loves me, well, no, he told me he thinks he loves me, so who knows.”
“Sounds like it’s getting serious, if he’s confessing his love for you.”
“We’re having fun, so I’m not going to make it more than it is at this point. I want to take things slow.”
“Not what I heard.” (Oh, Aiden. When will you learn? He’s so jealous he can’t stand it.)
“So Dawes has told you that?”
“Alors vous ne connaissez pas la merde.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means then you don’t know shit. Tomorrow, right after school, and we’re meeting in the library.”
OHHH, GOOOO TEAM!!!!
Watching the JV game with everyone, sitting next to Dawson. Well, snuggling next to Dawson. He is adorable, feeding me skittles and then kissing me. Dallas texts me, even though he is sitting right behind me.
Dallas: You+me=cave tonight. And I’m not taking no for an answer.
Me: Okay, but I don’t think we should kiss.
Dallas: Why not? You and Dawes aren’t going out, right? Can’t you do what you want?
Me: Well that’s true, but I don’t really want.
Dallas: 🙁 But that’s cool. We haven’t talked in a while and maybe I have a dating dilemma of my own.
Dallas: Ha. No.
After half time, I once again find myself in Dawson’t big athletic hoodie. It practically goes to my knees, and I’m a tall girl! He’s sitting behind me in the bleachers, me leaning back between legs when his warm hand slides under the sweatshirt and under the side of my shirt. He’s casually stroking my sides, my stomach and it’s nice, I snuggle back closer to him. But then his hand finds its way down inside my shorts and pretty soon he’s rubbing me, um, sorta like down there. Teasing me. He so wants me to come back to his room, well, I was going to say tonight, but I think it’s feeling more like now. And I want to stop him, I know I should stop him, but what can I say, I like it. I close my eyes, miss a few plays. We don’t stand up and cheer when Aiden scores. But I clapped and Dawson took that moment to uh, do a little scoring of his own. And then, I found myself cheering too, but for different reasons. OHHH, GOOOOO TEAM! (This is such a fun, naughty scene. But he is a Johnson brother. You had to figure sexiness was there.)
“You’re sooo naughty,” I whispered to him after.
“You soooo liked it,” he teases. “Can we please go back to my room? Like now.”
“You have to wait til this weekend.”
“But I don’t wanna wait,” he whines. “We’ll just kiss, I swear.” Then he starts kissing my neck, which is usually a sure fire way to get what he wants.
“This weekend. We won’t just kiss, I swear.”
Later when the game is over, Dallas hands me a Red Bull and says, “Drink up. Dress warm,” and grins at me.
Dawson says, “What’s that for? You going to meet him at the cave tonight?”
“What? You can come if you want. We just need to catch up.”
“You once told me you and Dallas smoke and make out there.”
“Yeah, would that bother you?”
“Hell yeah, it would bother me.”
“Oh, well you don’t have to worry. Look.” I let him read my texts from earlier, telling Dallas we weren’t going to kiss.
“I’m sorry. I should trust you.”
“Well even though we’re both still officially single. I really don’t have any desire to kiss anyone else, and I haven’t lied to you yet.”
He grabs my face in his hands, pulls me into a kiss then murmurs, “I will never lie to you. I love you, Keatie.”
“Really? Like love love?”
“Yeah, really. I love you.”
We kiss for a while, and I go inside feeling pretty amazing.
(He tells her he loves her way early in this version. Too early, in my opinion. But so much emotion and honesty between them. And really, the reason she and Aiden aren’t together. They fight. She doesn’t know where she stands with Brooklyn. But with Dawson, it is what it is, and they are both struggling with love. It’s sweet.)
“Oh, well, you don’t have to worry. Look.” I let him read my texts from earlier, telling Dallas we weren’t going to kiss.
“I’m sorry. I should trust you.”
“We’re not in a relationship, Dawson. So, really, technically, I could kiss anyone I want to. So can you.”
“I don’t want to kiss anyone else, but I do have something I should probably show you,” he says, as he hands me back my phone.
He messes with his phone and hands it to me. “Whitney texted me today. Read it.”
Whitney: Just because we aren’t going out, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.
Whitney: I know you’re having fun with the new girl, but she’s not good enough for you. Why don’t I set you up with Rachel? She’s always crushed on you and at least she comes from a decent family.
Dawson: I’m surprised you’d want to set me up.
Whitney: We’re friends, Dawes, and you need someone worthy of your status. You’re still one of the golden boys here, and I assume you want to stay one. Dating beneath you will not be good for you. It’s practically social suicide.
Dawson: It’s really nice of you to worry about me, but I like Keatyn.
Whitney: I know you’re not over me, but parading around with a girl of her caliber isn’t going to make me jealous. It’s just pathetic.
I process all that she managed to say in a few sentences. Her texts sound similar to what Vanessa told me about Brooklyn.
Only now, I’m social suicide.
I find that kind of ironic, honestly.
And kind of funny.
But I’m not sure how Dawson feels about it.
“Look, Dawson. I know what it’s like. The pressures of being and staying popular. I understand if you don’t want to hang out with me anymore.”
“Is that what you want? For Whitney to set me up with Rachel?”
“No, that’s not at all what I want. But it’s not my decision. It’s something you have to decide.”
He grabs my face in his hands, pulls me into a kiss, and murmurs, “I want you, Keatie. I don’t care what anyone thinks.”
And his sweetness kinda makes me cry.
Dawson feels my tears on his cheek and stops kissing me. “Why are you crying?”
“I was one of the most popular girl at my old school and here I’m social suicide,” is what I say. But really I’m thinking about home. About how I was willing to give up everything. Every part of me for Brooklyn. But how he didn’t really love me. Then I think about Cush. About my boots. About how they made me love him.
Dawson brushes my tears away and says, “Go out with me.”
I shake my head. I can’t go out with anyone. I’m an emotional wreck. Who starts crying when a boy is sweet to them?
“Not yet, Dawson. Neither one of us is ready for that. Can you honestly say you’re ready for another relationship?”
He looks up at the sky. “Probably not. But I want you to know where you stand. I want you to know that I really like you.”
I smile at him. “I already know that. And I really like you too.”
You look ridiculous.
But I am still not sure of a few things. First, I’m not sure he is in actual love with me. I think he likes me a lot, but I’m not sure about the rest. And I didn’t say I love you too because I don’t know if it’s love. Like I thought I was in love with Brooklyn, well I was. I guess it would be better to say I thought he loved me, but then poof that changed. And then I thought I was in love with Aiden, and well, honestly, like if I am truly honest with myself, I think I maybe still am a bit in love with Aiden.
But when you know it won’t work, then you put that love like away, on the back burner, like Mom said, and you look at what’s in front of you, what’s good. And I think I love Dawson, actually, I do love Dawson, I just don’t know if I am in like seriously love with him. Yet. (All of the above also got cut. She explains her thoughts here, but ugh. We get it. So I just made it a fun scene with her and Dallas and Riley.)
I drink the redbull that Dallas gave me, then have another one, and then I was still tired, so I had a third. And by the time midnight rolls around, I’m bouncing off the walls.
When I get to the Cave, Dallas is waiting for me.
“I’m soooo hyper!!! Let’s dance! I feel like dancing. Come on, dance with me!”
I grab my headphones out of my jacket pocket, put one in each one of our ears, hang on to Dallas, and then turn on some wild dancing music. Bass Hunter, electronic music, great dance beat. We jump, and dance, and laugh, and dance. I haven’t had so much fun in a long time, doing something so really stupid.
We’re jumping around dancing like maniacs, when someone grabs me from behind.
I scream. “Ahh!”
It’s Riley, I discover after screaming and practically having a caffeine and adrenaline induced heart attack.
He pops the headphone out of my ear. “What are you two doing? You look ridiculous!”
“Yeah, you can look ridiculous with us.”
Friday, September 9th
Kill, Kick Ass, Destroy.
I’m up way early for this social club meeting. Yeah, I want to be on it, but no one remembered to mention that they meet at 7am on Friday mornings. And I knew I had to get up early, but during our red bull dance off last night, which I didn’t come in from until 3am, this didn’t seem important. I drug my butt out of bed at 5:45, got in my game day dance outfit, which consists of skin tight black boot cut yoga pants with red and gold glittery stripes down the side, a sleeveless glittery gold v neck t-shirt, and gold dance shoes. My hair is in big bouncy curls.
I look like an Oscar award going to the gym. (Can’t remember if I mentioned this, but I was not a dancer or a cheerleader in high school, but my son’s girlfriend was. I asked her a ton of questions about dance, different songs, and watched some of her performances and shows so I would get it all right. I also created fourteen different dance and spirit day outfits in the book and on the clothing boards, along with a school logo, mascot, school colors, and cheers.)
I walk in and see there are only about eight people on this committee.
And yeah, I maybe am a couple minutes late, but my hair looks good, so whatever.
Peyton says, “What are you doing here?”
“Um, I guess I’m on this committee.”
Some guy I have seen, but do not know says, “Hey, I’m Brad,” to me and then turns and introduces me to the group. “Everyone, this is Keatyn Monroe.”
I smile and give a little wave.
They are discussing normal school things, like homecoming and other events.
I was like, “Uh, so I thought this committee was supposed to do like cool stuff?”
They all look at me.
Like I was an alien that just landed his spaceship in front of them, but I keep going.
“Like most kids are here on the weekends, and there isn’t much to do. Why don’t you have like mixer type things every weekend?”
I guess we never thought of it.
“You could have like different themes, make it fun.”
“That would cool. Like what kinds of themes?”
“I don’t know. Like in LA, all the parties have some kind of theme, so there’s tons to choose from. Mexican, Moroccan, Roman, French, Eighties. You can have people like dress in the theme, you could ask the cafe to like cook stuff that night that fit the theme, maybe music and stuff.”
“Like how would we get the money to do stuff like that?” Peyton says, making fun of me.
“Do a fund raiser? Make people to pay to get in?”
“I don’t think people would come, they would think it’s lame,” some idiot pipes in.
“Hmm, well I think I misunderstood this committee, so I should probably go.” I get up out of my chair to leave.
“What do you mean?” Brad says.
“I was under the impression that y’all were the most influential kids at the school. But hey, you can’t pull it off, I understand.” (I love how she challenges them here.)
And pretty soon, they decided they could do it. Because I’m pretty sure I’m in a room full of competitors.
“Well Newbie, we’ll appoint you liaison between the committee and the staff on this little project. You get it approved, we’ll do it.”
They think I’m gonna balk at this, but I don’t. If there is one thing I have learned growing up in LA, it’s how to throw a good party.
After the meeting, Peyton pulls me aside.
“What’d you do? Buy your way on here? They never nominate freshman.”
“Well, actually, it was offered to me by a teacher. Someone needs my help on something, and this is sorta my reward.”
“That’s bullshit. The rest of us had to work for it.”
“You had to work to get nominated by a teacher?”
“Uh, well you know, by being a leader in class and that sort of thing. I really can’t imagine what a teacher would need your help for.”
“I’m fluent in French.”
“They asked me to tutor your brother. I didn’t want to. So this is what they came up with.”
Her face goes white. (Even though in this version Peyton is the mean girl, in the published version, this was the beginning of what put Peyton between a rock and a hard place. It is the first arena (besides the lunch table) where Keatyn and Peyton have to interact with Whitney.)
I continue. “You know, I can always change my mind. He could probably get another tutor. So, ya know, I’ll leave it up to you. You can support me and help, and we can have fun and do some really cool stuff this year, or I’ll quit both this and your brother. Up to you.”
Brad says, “Hey, Keatyn, come walk with me. I want to talk to you a little more.”
I say, “As long as you’re walking straight to coffee. I’m in dire need of some caffeine.”
“Dude, me too.”
We’re standing in line for coffees when Dawson comes up from behind me, grabs me around the waist, pulls my back into him, kisses me on the side of the neck, and says, “Damn Keatie, looking good.”
I giggle. Dawson says to Brad, “Hey, you got a good speech planned for the pep rally?”
“Speech?” I ask.
Dawson says, “Yeah, the football captains have to speak today. I’m offensive captain, and Brad is the defensive captain. We gotta pump up the team and the fans.”
“Wow. Cool. Good luck.”
“I’m gonna need it. I have no idea what I’m gonna say,” Brad says looking worried.
I think back to Tommy’s last movie. He played a seemingly average football coach, who was really a kick ass espionage spy.
“Aw, that’s easy….remember these words, kill, kick ass, destroy, annihilate, win, and of course, GOOOOOO COUGARS!!”
Dawson grabs my ass, “I think maybe we should just let her talk for us.”
“Or bring her out there with us. No one will even be looking at us.”
“Y’all are silly. I gotta go to class. Nice meeting you, Brad. I’ll email you some ideas.”
I got to first period and sat down by Riley, asked him what he thought of the idea of themed weekends or activities.
“Sounds like a lot of work,” was his reply.
When I frowned he added, “But fun. Very fun.”
I start an email and brainstorm ideas. Lets see, what are some of the studio parties I’ve been to?
There was a Moroccan themed bash, complete with belly dancers. How fun would that be? Have someone teach us to belly dance. There was great food, lots of pretty bright colored fabrics, oh and someone was doing henna tattoos, and the music was very chill. People smoked from elaborate hookah pipes and drank different kinds of bold teas. Embroidered pillows scattered around low tables. Colored lanterns. I wore a turquoise blue dress with golden embroidery, I think I was about twelve, and I remember feeling extremely grown up.
Then there was the classic beach luau Tommy and Mom had at our house in Malibu. Drinks served in pineapples, floral leis as everyone arrived, tables laden with exotic fruits and flowers, a whole pig roasting in a pit in the stand. (Truth: it was a fake pig, a stage prop, not sure how it was flammableish, but whatever. Mom is a big supporter of animal rights and although she eats meat, seeing it roasted whole in front of her was not appetizing.) There was a combination of Hawaiian music and beach boys. Surf boards out front. Surfers were “performing” as in surfing before sundown, the beach was lit with tiki torches, hula girls dancing and some big sumo wrestling looking guy that could eat fire on a sword or a stick. I’m not sure. I couldn’t watch. I think this theme would be good when we are all sick of the snow. Guests wore bikinis, floral shirts. It was chill, laid back.
Mom did a themed baby shower for one of her real best friends, actress Milly Rodriguez, who was having a baby with her Laker’s husband. It was Parisian themed. Wandering artists in berets, a chocolate replica of the Eiffel tower (a little overboard, if you ask me) pink and black awnings, amazing french foods, cigarettes in long holders, waiters in black tails. Old French black and white romance movies playing on a big screen across the back yard.
So I send these ideas in an email to Brad. I even suggested that we get other clubs to help us, if we decide to do this. Like maybe let the art department, either teachers or the art club raise funds by henna painting or drawing characters. I also suggested that each week there is some kind of contest, to get the competitive spirit going, and that each theme we do we have a charity we raise money for. I was also thinking the girls will probably really get into it, but I’m not sure about the boys, so maybe the competitions are fun, sports related somehow. I told him I would defer to him on that. I mean even lawn darts and croquet can be highly competitive.
If nothing else, I told him, it will look great on our college applications, and we’ll have some fun doing it.
Vote for Boots, she likes to knock boots.
I plow through the rest of the day, buzzed on caffeine and getting surprisingly nervous about the pep rally. I’m not even nervous to go to french class today. I mean I survived pizza and studying with Aiden without letting his lips touch mine.
I can however feel the exact spot where his touch practically burnt my skin. It’s right here, across the top of my pinkie and across to my middle finger. There’s no noticeable scar or anything, but I can feel it still.
But then he made me worry. “Don’t screw up at the pep rally today. My sister said you guys don’t really have the dance down very good.”
“I have the dance down just fine. I won’t be screwing up.”
Uh, I hope. Oh. I should have paid better attention yesterday. Damn him, for distracting me when with his, its tutoring with food crap.
Then I remember what I am supposed to do this weekend, and why maybe I should postpone the NY trip til next weekend.
Annie, who has become my unofficial Student Council campaign manager, says, “Okay, so we can start putting up campaign signs Monday morning at 6am. So we’re going to have to work on them all weekend. And I was thinking something fun and girly, lots of purples, pinks, silver glitter. But I haven’t come up with a good campaign slogan yet.”
Aiden behind me says, “How bout, Vote for Boots, She likes to knock boots.” (Can you imagine this poster hanging on the walls of Eastbrooke? LOL)
I turn around, so totally and completely offended. My face is probably screwed up looking, but I don’t care. “Are you effing me?”
“Oh, uh, yeah, that’s probably a bad idea. I was thinking like knocking boots as in like kicking a soccer ball with the boots, not uh, like oh gosh. I’m sorry. Shit.”
“It’s shit, in french. At least I should be able to teach you to properly cuss in french. Whatever. I have a campaign idea. I wanna use school colors. All the signs will be red, yellow, lots of gold glitter and leopard. I was thinking about saying, Vote for Keatyn Mon—-roaaaarrrrr. Like we roar at football games? What do you think?” (Is that not super cool or what? Even though I planned all the high school stuff, until I was actually writing this scene, I didn’t know her name would work like that.)
Aiden whispers in my left ear, “Rawwwrrr.”
And holy merde. He growls soooo sexy. The thought crosses my mind that I would like to make him growl for real.
In bed. (Bad Keatyn.)
Annie says, “That’s adorable and using school colors is brilliant. We will make some cool signs for you.”
“I might be going to New York this weekend. Would you mind doing them?”
“No, not at all. We’ll have fun!”
Then if my mind wasn’t already in the gutter, Aiden whispers from behind me, “So what about fuck?” (**Fans self.)
And for a second, I thought he asked me to, well, you know.
My face got all hot, I felt like I was going to faint. I grab Annie’s diet coke from her desk and down some of it.
Regain my senses.
“Well, there isn’t just one word. And it sorta depends how you mean it. How do you mean it?”
“Um, what if I wanna tell your boyfriend to fuck off?” (For this scene, I actually bought a book called Dirty French. It’s also the book that Keatyn later gives to Aiden as a gift when he gets a good grade. And he starts learning the words and using them on her.)
“He’s not officially my boyfriend, but you would say, Casse-toi! which really is a nicer way to say it. It’s more like saying, piss off.
Miss Praline starts the class and is blabbering on about french club and not actual french class, so Aiden passes me a note saying,
What if I get mad, like stub my toe and wanna yell, fuck?
My hottie god even has perfect penmanship.
I reply: Then it would probably be more like, Pute!
Annie grabs it, writes: What about – I don’t give a fuck?
Something like, je m’en fou.
She reads it, hands it to Aiden.
What if I wanna fuck?
I stupidly turn around and look in those green eyes, see that naughty grin.
well to fuck would be, Foutre, or Niquer, which is a shortened form of the french word for fornicate.
And if you wanna brag to your friends, after you do that with a girl, you know, assuming you’re into that and not boys, you would say, Je l’ai niqué, which means, I effed her. I’d have to look up the correct terminology for gay boy slang. Fraid I don’t know that.
I drop the note over my shoulder on to his desk. And smile to myself.
You know damn well I’m not gay. So what if when you are tutoring me in french, and you decide you wanna do it with me. What would you say?
That’s not gonna happen.
Yeah, it is, eventually. We’ll be dating by then, but trust me, it’s gonna happen. And when you say it to me in French, I wanna make sure I know what you’re saying. You know, when you start begging me.
Annie grabs the note. Aiden!!!! OMG!!! But uh, what would you say?
I reply. Baise moi. (Fuck me.) But if you wanted to ask someone in a nicer way, Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir. (Do you want to sleep with me tonight?)
So tutoring tonight, my room, 4 o’clock.
So tutoring tonight, library, 4:00.
I have a new nickname for you, Boots, it’s B-Moi. People will think it’s Boots and French combined. But you know what it means.
Yes, I do know what it means. You are delusional and forgot to take your meds today. (But I love you.)